vineri, 27 august 2010

Loving who we are

I discovered not long ago the importance of self love.
This post is not about vanity or self sufficiency. I’m talking about rediscovering who we are, accepting ourselves exactly how we are.
Really loving and acknowledging the gifts you have, the power you have, the qualities you have. Not being ashamed of your self or blaming yourself, criticizing and doubting your own actions and thoughts.

I used to be very critical of myself and others. I thought I’m not so great. My idea about myself was made up mostly from the opinions of others about me. People always said I’m great, I’m smart, I’m talented, I’m fun… So, I tried to believe them. With one part of my brain, I thought: “Yes, they are right, I’m kind of great!” but another little voice was always in the background:”Yeah, right! You’re great! Ha, ha!”

It was a very illusory self confidence I was building this way. As soon as people stop flattering you, or someone dears to criticize something about you, the whole castle of cards collapses. You start doubting yourself, the little voice from before is yelling now: “Haven’t I told you? I knew those people were just joking when they said you’re great and you’re smart….”
This was a very depressing way of seeing my self. You never really know who you are, you are drifting around, depending on other’s opinions. You can even hate your self because someone told you that you are not good enough. Sometimes even just assuming that they believe you are not good enough is a good enough reason to hate your self.
Sometimes you become less than you can be because you deny and repress parts of yourself that you consider the others would never accept.

For the first time in years I realized I wasn’t confident at all! I didn’t love or trust my self. It is very important to acknowledge this. If someone would have asked me a while ago: “Do you trust yourself? Do you love who you are?” I would have said: “Yes, of course” but I wasn’t aware of the painful truth.

I believe that being very sensitive to criticism means that you have very little confidence and little self appreciation. Since I truly began to know and appreciate who I am and I started loving myself more and more, other people’s criticism doesn’t bother me any more. I know I can be whatever I want to! I know my power! And nobody can take it from me unless I give my own power away by not trusting it.

Now I realize that all those times when I did not express my feelings, or I did not express my opinion, or I did it their way instead of what my heart told me to do, I was actually affirming that I am not good enough, I don’t know so much, my needs are not so important. I was giving away my power.

We all need to start appreciating what we are and start living the life we are here for. We are, first of all, wonderful creatures of the Universe. We deserve to receive the abundance of life and we deserve to be loved just because we exist!
I believe that you came into this life to fully express you uniqueness and creativity. Every one is unique and beautiful. Everyone has something to offer and to express. Be whole again and enjoy the life you came for:
You wanted to experience and express true feelings!
You wanted to be accepted for what you are without judgment!
You wanted to follow your heart and always put yourself first!
You wanted to love yourself and do what you can to please yourself!

When you really love and respect your self you radiate LOVE and everybody will be attracted to you. You will see that when you start appreciating your body, your beauty, your creativity, your ideas, everybody else will! You will not believe how this will change your life and the way people around you will react to your presence.
You will glow with confidence and love!

To start loving yourself more you can:
- Use self esteem affirmations like: “I LOVE MYSELF! I TRUST MYSELF!” Do them every day looking in the mirror
- Stop criticizing yourself and others
- Start pleasing yourself more. Ask yourself at the beginning of the day: “what can I do today to please myself?” Every day, do at least two-three little things that will please yourself

- Take care of yourself and your body. Eat healthy, exercise, relax and rest
- Follow your heart! If you have any talents or qualities that you always wanted to express but for various reasons you did not, try to express them as much as you can.
- Make a list of your qualities and appreciate yourself for every single one
- Don’t waist any opportunity to say: “Well done! I am great!”

If you want to learn more about how you can love yourself Louise Hay is a wonderful teacher. She was a great inspiration for me! Actually the first time I heard someone talking about self love it was her. She thinks that loving yourself can really heal your life. You can heal your body and your mind, you will have more fulfilling relationships, you will have better jobs, and everything will improve!

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