joi, 12 august 2010

The beginning of change

Have you ever wondered about the connection between what you think and what happens in your life? Did you ever noticed that the optimistic people have a lot of reasons to be even more optimistic and the ones who complaint the most have all kinds of crappy experiences?

My brother told me that when he was a child he believed that he created with his mind what was going on and after a great experience he always wondered and tried to figure out how did he do it so he can recreate that. When we are little we are so free and open minded. We are “naive” as an adult would describe it but isn’t it magical to believe in fairies and wizards and in your inner power? Many of us are longing all our lives to feel like that again. We all have the melancholy of the past, especially our childhood and I guess it’s because of the belief that magic exists, because of that feeling that you are safe, you are taken care of, all is well, you don’t neet to worry, you don’t even know what “worry” means.

I was depressed a long period of my life because I was yearning for that feeling and I thought it can never be regaind. I ofter cried thinking about how magical life used to be and I felt like I was imprisoned in my own life that was doomed to be miserable.

That all ended when I discovered that life can be magical again. So for all of you that still believe in magic, I want to tell you, you are not naive, or wrong, or crazy. Magic is real and it can be part of your life if you let it.

I heared the idea that thoughts create reality for the first time when I saw the movie “The Secret”.

I was working at that time in a software company as an analyst/programmer/consultant/tester and whatever else was needed to be done around there. I was unhappy with my life even though my job was pretty good, the wage was great, I had a boyfriend that I loved and that loved me (and still does, hopefully :D), I lived in a nice place that was central and cheap… many things were right in my life. But something else was missing. It wasn’t until 5 years later when I realized that my soul was craving for something else.

Anyway, The Secret didn’t ring any bells inside my head at that time. I was very pragmatic and my reaction was: “Ok, so they are teaching me to be positive. And if I’m optimistic and positive about things, then, I cannot be upset about anything bad that happenes, I have to be positive, so I will stay optimistic and I will be happy all the time…even if I had no external reasons to….so it’s not like it works, it’s just a hoax that you play to your mind” And I forgot about it in no time.

The next time I saw “The Secret”, I had already left my job for some time and I was working on my own, making handmade bags and jewlery. Apparently I was more opened to the idea so me and my boyfriend decided we’re going to DO IT :D
So, we each wrote a list of things we wanted in our lives, we made ‘vision boards” where we put pictures of things we wanted and so on… But it was very hard. I felt so bad because I coulnd’t control my mind. I had a lot of negative thoughts going through my mind and it scared me. I felt guilty about it and useless, I thought I was a failure. And, of course, it didn’t work…Not only that, but after a few months we had a terrible car accident (me, my boyfriend and my brother) that blew everything up. We were outraged! How could it be, how could have we created or attracted such an experience? My brother was nearly killed, he was in the hospital for 3 weeks and immobilized in bed for 6 weeks, my boyfriend had an operation and still has a stem inserted into his leg and I was in the hospital for 5 days not being able to move. And this was only the physical pain.

So the idea that thoughts create reality was banished once again.

They say third time’s a charm :D Well it was for me!

The third time I heard about this, I was ready. This time it was the book “The law of attraction” by Esther and Jerry Hicks. It came to me by “coincidence” (I believe now there’s no such thing as meaningless coincidences) right after I had an experience when I made something happen just by visualizing it. I did it like a game, I didn’t really thought about it too much and maybe that’s one of the reasons why it worked so easily.
Two days after that I met for the first time with a new friend and she brought me this book as a present.
I had no idea what was it about, I wasn’t familiar with Esther and Jerry’s work but as soon as I started reading it, I couldn’t stop. It sounded so obvious, I felt in my heart that all that was true. I explaind to myself why my little visualization worked and how this book got to me and many other things.

Since then, the way I think has changed in so many ways and I have discovered the pleasure of the journey. It’s not the destination, there’s no fixed destination, you just follow your heart wherever it leads and you must enjoy the journey because that’s what life is!

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