I am at the seaside right now and it’s the best vacation I had in years! Oh, it feels so good to simply enjoy! It’s been so long since I actually got to relax and really enjoy my vacation. And I know it can be better, I know now that it never stops getting better.
I used to believe that fun is over after 35 or so… and I thought that my best years had already gone. I thought I could never top the fun I had in my 18-20’s when I had a lot of friends and we used to drink and dance on the beach all night until sunrise and then hang around at the beach bars and listen to chill music all day long and in the night we went dancing and drinking again. This was the way we had the best fun ever and I wasn’t interested in any other kind of fun. And we never imagined this could ever end.
So it was pretty sad and scary later, at 24-25 when we all got jobs and we didn’t meet so often any more and drinking wasn’t so much fun and dancing without drinking wasn’t really possible. At first I was shocked. Then, I got used to the depressing idea that those were the days and it’s down hill from now on. At least I had my piece of fun, I was thinking! It’s very sad to imagine your life is almost over at 26 years old. What are you supposed to do with the rest of it?
In the last few years, my holidays felt more like “mourning days”. I was always sad, thinking and realizing that I can’t have fun any more, I can’t relax, I couldn’t even lay on the beach and do nothing. I was always thinking about how much work I need to do, worrying about my problems, thinking that I don’t look good enough to get naked on the beach, feeling miserable and criticizing myself for not having fun. Going out dancing at night was too painful because I could barely look at all those people dancing and having fun. Rarely, after drinking enough, I could dance and started to feel a bit better. But in the morning the depression was even worse. Something was deeply wrong! Something was crying out loud inside me!
And the cry was finally answered! I am saved! I am cured! I am ALIVE!
I am still amazed at my own “FUN”. I am amazed like a little baby splashing in the water. I am amazed that I can just sit in the sand and relax! I really enjoyed again, after such a long time, the SEA. I think that for the first time in my life I danced without drinking or smoking. I feel connected to everyone around me. I can look into people’s eyes. I can smile to every one I see. I feel free to do what I want and when I want.
I was here all summer every single year in the last 4 years but it was like I had a veil over my head. I was blind to the beauty of the sand I stepped on every day and the water I bathed in and the blue sky above, the warm sun shinning on my face and the wind ruffling my hair.
This is the best summer vacation ever! Hi, hi!
You can also have fun and ENJOY life! You can also change your life by changing the way you think! Maybe you'll read something useful on this blog, maybe you'll read the right book, maybe you'll start eating raw, maybe something else will happen. Anyway I think you are on the right way!! And you are WONDERFUL!!