In the book “7 spiritual laws of success” by Deepak Chopra, Monday is “GIVING” day and it’s my favorite day of the week. During this day you give something to everyone you meet. You can offer a flower, or a small gift, you can offer a compliment, a smile, or just a good thought or a blessing. Your love, your time, affection, attention and respect are the most precious gifts you can offer so be generous to everyone you meet today. Every thing in the Universe is Energy and dynamic exchanges of energy. So things must flow freely in and out of our life. When we feel stuck in any area of our life it means that the flow of energy must be blocked in some way. So in order to reactivate this flow of energy you can begin by giving exactly the things that you feel you lack in your life. It is kind of ironic but it works.
So, give as much as you can! If its money you need in your life, start giving money to people that have less then you. Or, even better, you can help someone earn some money. If it is love you want to receive abundantly in your life start giving your love to everyone you meet. You can spend a few minutes every day sending love to your family, friends, neighbors, coworkers and to all the people in the world. Put love into your house, at your working place, in your car, spread love everywhere you go. Being surrounded by love is the most beautiful feeling! If you feel you lack time, you can offer a few moments of your precious time to the people who need it. If you want more fun and laughter in your life make someone feel good and smile.
Give with all your heart, with the intention of making someone happy or helping them when they are in need.
Giving is always a two ways action. It is a gift for the one who is receiving it but it’s even a greater gift for the one who’s giving. You will feel the joy of giving and you will receive back so much more! Whatever you give will come back to you multiplied. Always expect to receive from life what you are offering. So try to be honest, loving, supporting, grateful, tolerant, patient, forgiving, thankful and life will respond likewise.
Chopra also talks about being opened to receive the gifts you are given. You can graciously receive a compliment, the beauty of the sky, the fresh air, the joyous singing of the birds. If we refuse the gifts that the Universe has to offer we might be depriving our selves of any future gifts. If you give someone a beautiful gift to trying to make them happy but they complain about the color or the size or the fabric you don’t feel like giving them any thing else again. This is what happens with the gifts of life. If we are unhappy we shall not be gifted again.
So learn to accept and appreciate all the things that come into your life!
Practice giving and receiving for a few months and you will see that all you need will flow freely into your life!
A few years or even months ago I would have laughed in your face if you would have told me about using affirmations. I would have thought that is stupid to repeat some crazy stuff to your self and it cannot work… Thank God I’ve tried them and I can say that they totally work! Affirmations are really powerful! And they are so easy to use and FUN!
We use affirmations all the time, whether we know it or not. Every thing you say to yourself is an affirmation. And usually there’s a lot of negative self talk in our mind. If we would analyze our own mind just for a few hours we would be horrified of the crazy things we think about and the roles our mind plays and the useless things we occupy our minds with. The mind can talk to itself for hours and hours about a stupid little thing playing all kind of roles. We’re thinking about the fight we had with someone, and what you should have said and what would he say to what you’ve said, and then you would do this, and he will not agree…Or we are thinking that we are no good and we are fat and we never do things right and we have no money… Do you think this kind of self talk is good for us? Or we can start replacing it with some positive self talk? There is a link between your thinking and your feeling and this kind of self talk will leave you feeling miserable. Maybe you are like I used to be and you don’t believe in affirmations but would you miss your old self talk if you would replace it just 5-10 minutes a day with some positive affirmations? I believe not!
So start making a plan! Oh, how I love plans and lists :) I made myself a list of all the things I want in my life. Things I do not have right now and I would like to have, qualities I want to improve at myself, bad habits I want to release, things I want to change, all kinds of stuff like that. Then, for each thing I wanted I made an affirmation. It must be simple, short, easy to say, resonate with your heart when you say it. Always put it in the present tense and make only positive statements. Like for example, if you don’t want to be sick any more don’t say: “I DON’T WANT TO BE SICK” say “I AM HEALTHY!” And don’t say “I will be…”, always say “I AM” Then, you can use this affirmation whenever you want or need. For my most precious subjects I save some time at the beginning of the day to say the correspondent affirmations but the “little ones” I just say them when I need them or when I have some free time, like when I stay in line somewhere, or when I work at my sawing machine. I say each affirmation for 5 minutes or so, out loud if I am alone or just repeating it in my head if I’m not alone. At first I thought I had to feel the feeling for each time I said it and I was very careful at each intonation but I found out you can say it as quick as you can, repeating it just like a mantra and I like it better this way. You can also use affirmations whenever a negative thought comes into your mind. Like each time when you are thinking about not having enough money (and don’t we all think about that?) just repeat for a few minutes, or as long as you can: “I HAVE PLENTY OF MONEY!” or “MY LIFE IS ABUNDANT IN EVERY WAY”
Using affirmations will help you release old habits of thought and create new ones. Usually the only thing that stands between us and the things we always wanted are our own negative beliefs. We may have declared that we want something and the universe immediately responds but if we don’t allow it into our lives it cannot come in. We sometimes think we don’t deserve to get what we want or we have all kind of beliefs that we are not even aware of and this old thinking patterns keep us away from the things we want. The patterns of thinking from our head weren’t always there. We heard and repeated some idea lots and lots of times until it actually became a belief. So an old belief it’s just a thought that has been repeated so many times into your mind that it has become printed into your subconscious. The good news is that you can replace it with a new one using the same technique. That is why affirmations work. Even if at first you don’t believe what you say, in time your mind will resist less and less, until it will totally accept the new idea, and finally turn it into a belief. And then it will all happen!
Don’t worry if at first you feel weird when you say your affirmation. It is very normal to feel like that, you are affirming something that is not (yet) true. But don’t give up, in a few days you will see that it gets better. You can use the mirror to check the level of resistance about a subject. Look at yourself while saying your affirmation and observe your reaction. If it feels really weird, than, you must have some very strong negative beliefs about this subject. Try to find out what those beliefs are, see if these beliefs are logical, see if they are really yours. Most of our beliefs come from our childhood, from our parents or teachers, and we don’t even know we have them. Once you realized what is the belief that is keeping you from obtaining what you want you can just let it go. Say to yourself: “You have served me all these years but it’s time to release you from my life!” And every time an old thinking pattern appears remember to say to yourself: “This is the way I used to think. I no longer want to think this way!” and then you can affirm the new thinking pattern.
Affirmation worked for many successful people and it can work for you!
You can listen to Louise Hay’s tapes, she has lots of wonderful affirmations but you can also make your own. It’s a fun process! You can make like a little poem with rhyme or you can put the affirmation in a little song. Do whatever you can to make it more fun :)
Some of the affirmations I currently use are:
“I am healthy! I am full of energy!” “I am surrounded by love! I give and receive love every day!” “I am opened to receive the abundance of life! I deserve the best! My life is magical!” “I trust myself! I accept myself exactly as I am!” “I am calm and relaxed! I have patience!” “I am happy, every cell in my body is smiling!” :) “I am creative and inspired! I freely express my full creative potential!” “I work in wonderful projects that bring me satisfaction and prosperity!”
Always remember that everything takes time. It took some time to get you where you are and it will take some time to change. But if you are willing to do anything, intention is all that is needed. Then, just let go and things will happen. Be patient about it, all things will happen at the perfect time for you. Maybe sometimes it will seem hard. That is because of your own resistance or impatience. When I first started changing my thinking habits I quit after two minutes. My mind was in no mood to do any kind of work…And the mind is used to do whatever it wants. So, after a few moments of trying to do some affirmations or visualizations my mind said: “I am bored! This is too heavy! Let’s do something else!” and I immediately fell for it. I though, yes, this is too hard… I have no time for this. The next time I tried it, it was exactly the same…my mind quit after a few minutes. The third and lucky time I already knew that the mind is slick and lazy and that’s how it is at the beginning. You just need to persevere and after a few days of making the mind to do its exercises it finally says:” OK! If you insist so much, I’ll do it!” And then you can begin to really say your affirmations and actually start changing your mind habits.
Well that’s it for today. Have fun with your affirmations! Let me know how it works!
Have you ever got angry because you felt you have no power over someone? Have you ever thought that somebody is wrong and if they would just change their thinking everything would be great for you? Did you ever blame others for the mess in your life? Did you feel powerless and frustrated about not being able to make them change? I have and it’s really frustrating! People are used to think that their parents are wrong, that the boss is wrong, that their children must behave in certain ways, that: “if only THEY would change, my life would be so much better!”
I recently found a magic key to this problem :) The solution is not for them to change! You cannot control or change all the people you consider wrong. The solution it’s much easier! The solution is inside YOU! Actually you are the key I’m talking about. You can change yourself and everything will be different!
Gregg Braden talks about the mirrors that surround us. He says that the ancients thought that everyone we meet is a mirror of us and they are all trying to teach us something about our self. Usually the people we want to change are people that have certain imperfections or behaviors or ideas that we don’t agree with. So, we should look at these people and we could see what are the parts of us that we don’t like or agree with. Some people will show us over and over again pieces of our selves that we need to accept in order to be whole. Every human being wants to be accepted and loved for exactly what they are. But who could love us like that if we don’t do it first? Start accepting your so called “flaws”. They are part of who you are, stop trying to be someone else. So, whenever you meet someone you dislike try to find out what is it about you that you need to accept. What part of you is yearning for your love and approval?
Deepak Chopra said a funny story in one of his workshops about this. One exercise in the workshop was to name a person that you dislike, make a list of what you don’t like about him or her and than try to find that quality or behavior at yourself. Think of a moment or an experience when you were behaving like that. If you can’t find anything, think again. We all have our moments so it’s not so hard to think of a moment you have been unpleasant or mean or angry. So the story was that a friend of his from the workshop said that this guy he doesn’t like it’s a “complete idiot” and he cannot think of any circumstance when he was a complete idiot. So, later that evening, they went to this friend’s house and it was snowing and cold and it was getting dark and the guy couldn’t find his keys. So he exclaimed: “who loses his keys in a night like this?” And Deepak said to himself: “Nobody but an idiot :)”
People can also be mirrors of things we are judgmental about. If we find ourselves disliking someone and we simply cannot imagine we could ever be like that, it must be something we are judging. We don’t need to change the world to feel better. We couldn’t if we tried! So just turn to yourself and try to see what is bothering you about this person? You can learn to except everyone exactly as they are and it feel so great to know that it’s ok to leave them how they are. We are not responsible for anyone but ourselves. We are not responsible for changing our boyfriend or girlfriend, parents or children, we don’t need to change the neighbors or coworkers even if we think we can help them. Everybody needs to learn their own lessons by themselves. Whenever we feel like we have a problem with someone else, we actually have a problem inside us and that’s where we need to focus, that’s where the key is.
When I first discovered this I felt so relieved! It seemed so hard to change someone’s mind or behavior. But it’s not my job to change the others, my job is to take care of my own mind and make changes inside. And believe me, the changes made from inside reflect everywhere around you. That’s what Gandhi meant when he said: “Be the change you want to see in the world” Not only that you are the only one you can change so don’t waist your time on trying to change the others. But the most important, wonderful part is that when you change, everything changes around you. When you open up to people, people open up to you, when you are happy people around you get happy, when you are calm and don’t argue, the people around you don’t feel the need to argue with you. The world is a hologram and any change made in one little pixel reflects in all other pixels of it. I experienced this and it feels MAGICAL! When you wish for your boyfriend to be more loving ask yourself how are you to him. Offer your love and you will receive back more than you need! If you want your parents to be more supportive of you or to accept you as you are try to accept them first and you will be amazed of the results. It certainly worked for me ;) If we become whatever we expect from the people around us then we can change the world! Use a reminder to keep you aware that YOU are the KEY! Every time you see it remember that you create your own life, nobody is responsible and nobody can be blamed for what you create with your mind and behavior. Turn to your self and you will find all the keys that can make your life MAGICAL!
I discovered not long ago the importance of self love. This post is not about vanity or self sufficiency. I’m talking about rediscovering who we are, accepting ourselves exactly how we are. Really loving and acknowledging the gifts you have, the power you have, the qualities you have. Not being ashamed of your self or blaming yourself, criticizing and doubting your own actions and thoughts. I used to be very critical of myself and others. I thought I’m not so great. My idea about myself was made up mostly from the opinions of others about me. People always said I’m great, I’m smart, I’m talented, I’m fun… So, I tried to believe them. With one part of my brain, I thought: “Yes, they are right, I’m kind of great!” but another little voice was always in the background:”Yeah, right! You’re great! Ha, ha!” It was a very illusory self confidence I was building this way. As soon as people stop flattering you, or someone dears to criticize something about you, the whole castle of cards collapses. You start doubting yourself, the little voice from before is yelling now: “Haven’t I told you? I knew those people were just joking when they said you’re great and you’re smart….” This was a very depressing way of seeing my self. You never really know who you are, you are drifting around, depending on other’s opinions. You can even hate your self because someone told you that you are not good enough. Sometimes even just assuming that they believe you are not good enough is a good enough reason to hate your self. Sometimes you become less than you can be because you deny and repress parts of yourself that you consider the others would never accept. For the first time in years I realized I wasn’t confident at all! I didn’t love or trust my self. It is very important to acknowledge this. If someone would have asked me a while ago: “Do you trust yourself? Do you love who you are?” I would have said: “Yes, of course” but I wasn’t aware of the painful truth.
I believe that being very sensitive to criticism means that you have very little confidence and little self appreciation. Since I truly began to know and appreciate who I am and I started loving myself more and more, other people’s criticism doesn’t bother me any more. I know I can be whatever I want to! I know my power! And nobody can take it from me unless I give my own power away by not trusting it.
Now I realize that all those times when I did not express my feelings, or I did not express my opinion, or I did it their way instead of what my heart told me to do, I was actually affirming that I am not good enough, I don’t know so much, my needs are not so important. I was giving away my power. We all need to start appreciating what we are and start living the life we are here for. We are, first of all, wonderful creatures of the Universe. We deserve to receive the abundance of life and we deserve to be loved just because we exist! I believe that you came into this life to fully express you uniqueness and creativity. Every one is unique and beautiful. Everyone has something to offer and to express. Be whole again and enjoy the life you came for: You wanted to experience and express true feelings! You wanted to be accepted for what you are without judgment! You wanted to follow your heart and always put yourself first! You wanted to love yourself and do what you can to please yourself! When you really love and respect your self you radiate LOVE and everybody will be attracted to you. You will see that when you start appreciating your body, your beauty, your creativity, your ideas, everybody else will! You will not believe how this will change your life and the way people around you will react to your presence. You will glow with confidence and love!
To start loving yourself more you can: - Use self esteem affirmations like: “I LOVE MYSELF! I TRUST MYSELF!” Do them every day looking in the mirror - Stop criticizing yourself and others - Start pleasing yourself more. Ask yourself at the beginning of the day: “what can I do today to please myself?” Every day, do at least two-three little things that will please yourself - Take care of yourself and your body. Eat healthy, exercise, relax and rest - Follow your heart! If you have any talents or qualities that you always wanted to express but for various reasons you did not, try to express them as much as you can. - Make a list of your qualities and appreciate yourself for every single one - Don’t waist any opportunity to say: “Well done! I am great!”
If you want to learn more about how you can love yourself Louise Hay is a wonderful teacher. She was a great inspiration for me! Actually the first time I heard someone talking about self love it was her. She thinks that loving yourself can really heal your life. You can heal your body and your mind, you will have more fulfilling relationships, you will have better jobs, and everything will improve!
There is always balance in your life. Nothing in the Universe really disappears. Nothing is lost, it is just transformed.
You can keep that in mind whenever you feel you have lost something. You can never loose anything or anyone. First of all we do not own anything in the first place. The only thing that is real in your life is your soul and that, you will never loose.
Have you noticed that whenever something flows away from your life something else flows in? Whenever you loose someone, somebody new appears. So, all we have to do when we think we lost something, is try to figure out what we’ve gained. When the fall comes, the trees never cry over the lost green leaves. They trust the wizdom of nature to receive new ones in the spring. Death is necessary in order for new life to be possible. We need to release the old to make room for the new. There is never a situation or an experience so bad that you cannot find any positive aspect of it. Think back to your life and make a list of all the so called “bad experiences” and see if you can find any positive things that resulted out of that experience. You will be surprised to see that there’s always a few. Sometimes, quite major changes in our life were the result of such a “bad” experience. Changes that in the end, made our life turn into a positive, new direction.
All the things that happened in our life, good or bad, are part of us; these are the things that made us who we are. We have learned and grown with each experience. Not understanding why this happened to us, asking what we have done to deserve this are useless ways of consuming ourselves. We have to accept each experience that comes into our lives and see what is to learn from it. We can ask ourselves what kind of thoughts we may be thinking to cause this. What is the lesson in this and what can we change in our thinking habits to improve our life experience.
So whenever you’re sad, or you had a bad experience that you don’t understand, you can use a reminder to remember that all things happen for a reason, and even if you don’t see the meaning of it now, all things happen for your greater good. Ask yourself what are the positive aspects, what is there to learn from this and what habit of thought you need to release from your mind. And the answers will come to you! This way there’s nothing but learning and enjoying each moment of our precious life!
